When moving

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Have you ever liked someone not because it feels almost natural to be with them but because they seem to be the ideal person in your objective point of view?  You see the person and think to yourself, Wow!  I have a chance here to be with someone like him.  But deep down inside this perfect ideal which when described to others gives a resounding Wow actually leaves you feeling empty.  There is no explanation.  There is no reasonable explanation.  Objective perfection is not subjective perfection.  I remain unconvinced, and yet my heart breaks at this discovery.  I keep wondering why I have to feel this way.  I keep having to tell myself, it's okay, it'll come, just another day.  

Korea is on the cards.  Thought about it more today - I will be working much harder than I do here.  I will make more money, but I won't have my afternoons to myself.  And if I have any questions, I won't have anyone to turn to, unless God sends his angels beforehand.  God seemed to be saying to me today that I need to work really hard for the first 3-4 months.  I can have a small get together with some colleagues for my birthday, and then start planning my trip to Australia, but crucial is the change from a rather lax working environment to a hard-working environment.  

I think I obsess about my love life more than I dared to admit, and it seems a great sacrifice to me at this stage in my life to be giving up the opportunities I might have here for a chance to teach and travel in the East, but who knows what God's plan is for me.  I need to trust in Him.  He is my salvation, after all.  These are just the thoughts I am having now that I know I am moving.  I am leaving South Africa for South Korea, and I am looking at what and who I am leaving behind, and what I will be faced with in the new country.  Hoping and praying that I am indeed following God's calling on my life, and that I won't have any regrets.  

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