Bevor ich geboren bin, bin ich gestorben.

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Bevor ich geboren bin, bin ich gestorben.
Warum bleiben dann Gefühle meines eigenen Gewissens?
Warum bleiben die Gedanken und die Träume meines eigenen Lebens,
wenn mich doch Gott neu geschaffen hat,
mir neues Blut gegeben hat,
mich in eine neue Familie hat gebracht?

Ich will nicht mehr traurig sein,
dass mein Leben mir wie nichts vorkommt,
dass ich mir so unglaublich wertlos vorkomme,
und stattdessen will ich den Glauben fassen,
dass Gott mich tatsächlich in Seinen Händen trägt,
und mich wirklich beschützt vom Bösen.

Ich will mich vergessen,
mich verlieben, und dann für andere leben,
für einen Sinn außerhalb meiner Wünsche,
eine Gnade und Liebe erfahren,
die nicht aus dieser Welt stammt,
sondern ganz weit entfernt und doch so nah.

Ich freue mich auf keinen Tod,
doch meiner ist schon vergangen,
und mein neues Leben hat schon begonnen,
jedoch sieht es manchmal nicht danach aus,
und ich schäme mich, dass ich mich nicht mehr hab vertraut
an den Herrn, den lieben Gott, der einzige, der mich errettet hat.

Und nun suche ich keine Tragödie
oder auch keine Komödie oder Liebesgeschichte mehr,
sondern die Geschichte, die Gott hat bewahrt
in Seinem Herzen, die ich hab' zu erzählen,
zwar nicht aus meiner Kraft und Leidenschaft,
sondern aus Seiner, und wegen Ihm alleine.

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