No greater joy

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It's Christmas Eve.  The clock is ticking.  Father is showering.  Mother has already gone to bed.  We are not a traditional family.  We don't have a set routine on Christmas, Easter and New Year's.  When it comes to food especially, there is nothing we "always" have.  

Tomorrow is Christmas Day.  We are not having turkey.  We are having lamb.  I have not felt the Christmas spirit as yet.  Jesus Christ didn't feature this evening, only insomuch as seeing my mother read a little booklet entitled, "Why Jesus?"

From all the religions in this world, from Islam to Hinduism to even Buddhism, what makes me think that Christianity is the "right" way, the "only" way to God the Father?  The danger in choosing your God as the one and only is spiritual narrow-mindedness and intolerance towards others.  Being so open-minded that you believe all roads lead to Rome is contrary to most religious beliefs, however.  In the Bible, it reads, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and mind and soul" and that we are not to follow idols.  Does that necessarily relate to different religions, or am I misguided?  Do I need to read about the other religions so that the true God will confirm His presence, His will and His glory, in my life?  

Others may well say, she had a "religious" experience, as though which God you believe in is random, and moreover, it is not the God whom you believe in that is important but the belief itself.  If you have faith, YOU can move mountains, it says.  So there is an insinuation of the school of thought "mind over matter".  All the glory goes to the human mind and its power.  

God of wonders, God of miracles, tonight, as we typically celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, known otherwise as God incarnate, the Saviour, the Redeemer, the Son of God, I want to let you know that your presence is felt.  I think your thoughts at times, I feel as you do, and I do as you do, not that it is I thinking and feeling and doing but Christ in me.  

As I take a leap of faith, and I walk on water, figuratively speaking, I merely want to put all my trust in you, and I want to practise self-control, dignity, grace, humility and mercy.  it is an honour to know you, and I am sorry that I don't spend more time in Your Word.  I forget sometimes that you are sitting at the right hand of God, and I have access to the Father through you.  I forget, not in a literal sense, but again, figuratively speaking.  I do not harness the power of Christ within me.  

May all fake piousness return to the ground from whence it came.  May all lies and half-truths be denounced and forgiven.  May I see myself in the mirror of truth, to see where I stand with God, as we speak.  Where do I fall short?  In what area is my conscience not clear?  I can think of some.  I wonder, will it ever get easier?  Will I ever know for certain that I am in the will of God, that I am living 100% according to His will?  

I fear God might be using this opportunity to go to Korea to call Him closer to me, not afraid because I am afraid of Him, but afraid because of the way I have led my life as a Christian thus far, with few deeds.  My faith should not be lacking.  

Tomorrow we will eat lamb, and we will continue as we do, and I will silently pray for the salvation of my friends and family, for there is no greater joy than reconnecting with God for the first time.  There is no greater joy.  

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