Burning up into ash


When will you ever be the best? Beautiful girls and gorgeous bodies, interesting conversations, loving exchanges, passionate nights and glorious mornings. I live in a competitive world, and at one point in my life, I want to feel like Usain Bolt - the best. To be the best version of yourself. What does that look like?

Fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith. God has seen me at my worst and still He loves me. He knitted me together in my mother's womb. He can count all the hairs on my head. I am made in His image. So when I was born, He already had something in mind for me and my life, something that I could do that would glorify Him. Now I just have to figure out what that is.

God has given me the uncanny ability to spell. And a need to write. A natural sense of rhythm. I can dance. I feel music in my body and express it. I take great pictures. And I love to see the world. I should be a pop star. But that would not really honour God, I think, unless I write and sing and dance for Him. How would that look like?

The world of striving, competition and success I am very much a part of, and it drives me forward to keep going, to search determinedly for my own purpose, one where I will serve the Lord, one where not my own glory is as important as having people's lives changed because of the love of God.

So I can do without coffee, and I can go without music, I can live without writing and art, but what I cannot live without again is my God. So perhaps I will never be wholly satisfied with myself and my life, but I have learnt that happiness cannot be a goal. It will always be just a by-product. But I must take my own goals seriously and take steps towards them, or every dream dissipates like paper burning up into ash.

If there is something in your heart that you want so badly to do, fix it to the pin board of your mind and revisit your vision often. Take conscientious steps towards reaching that goal, and pray.

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