Activity 1: a memory

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I walked into the room with a sense of anticipation. I knew I could do this. There were many aspects of a relationship I felt I struggled with, but this part of being a supportive listener and caring for someone - that role I could play.

I knelt down next to the couch he had grown accustomed to and listened to the words and to his heart. And I found it difficult to hear his heart. I felt his heaviness after having confronted his dad about the announced divorce, but hearing him tell me how it went, I thought perhaps a greater comfort to him would have been a humorous friend, or someone who could draw out the depths in him. I felt insufficient.

When you start crossing boundaries from friendship to romance, there is a shift that takes place. For a woman, it is that allowance to care. It was a desire of mine to understand him better, to connect on a deeper emotional level, and to be his comforter. I wanted to take away his pain, his disappointment, his heartache. Ironically he simply escaped into movies and did not confront his feelings at all. He could not share what he felt, nor did he desire to. He appreciated my concern and perhaps was even touched. It was probably the closest we ever came to love.


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