Emptiness

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And just as I was feeling empty, I am reminded that I am filled with the Holy Spirit. I was going through my old diaries yesterday night after not being tired from reading my current book, 1421, and wanted to remind myself of where I have come from and what I have been through, to perhaps lessen the pinch of my self-confessed mid-life crisis, presuming I make it to eighty.

This feeling of emptiness overwhelms me at times. It is a feeling of disappointment in myself, in who I have become, in my accomplishments so far, and I judge myself as not good enough. It is a destructive thought pattern that I know is bad for my thought life and its subsequent manifestations in my life, and a thought process which I actively need to suppress or redirect.

Emptiness is actually a desired state in many religions, and even as a Christian it is good to be empty of self in order to focus on God and to make space for the Holy Spirit. After quoting the poem by Lao Tzu yesterday, I realised this morning that I am not empty at all. I simply need to hear and listen to the Holy Spirit who dwells in me.

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