My vocation

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During the day my time consists of articles, adjectives, nouns and verbs,
of commas, full stops and inverted commas.

I look at, read, write and dictate words, sometimes mere letters, and then the sentence, as though this were the be all and end all of life, theirs as well as mine.

Every child learns to read and write, and every child grows up despite
mistakes and unfairness and other crazy things that happen in their lives.

I'll try my best but feel my best is not good enough,
but I get the feeling every teacher feels that way
because there is always more you could have done,
if only you had the time, if only you had been wiser.

Next time, you say, next time I'll do it better,
and that next time is just the following day.

I am positively challenged every day and thus growing all the more.
I am learning so much, yes, from my weaknesses but also from my strengths,
and I am finding on the days I try a little harder
that I feel a little better and live a little longer
and that I enjoy life a little more.

This is my second Wild Coast Backpackers,
this is my second place of need,
this is my second place of purpose,
of living for others and forgetting about my own need.

It is when I give it second place
that I drift away and feel sad.

Because this is what I was called for.
There is no other place. Not for now.

I remind myself, this is what I've always wanted -
to spend my time with words and books
and now I get to do that all day.
It's wonderful. It truly is.
Let me never lose sight of that.

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