What's in a cup?

This evening Vic and I witnessed termites emerge from their mound, aka ant hill, and become a feast for the black-collared barbets with their pronounced red faces, the Indian Mynas and rather large bats, though which species of bat I cannot tell you. Vic said it was like watching National Geographic on your doorstep, though the Internet is more interested in pest control than the life cycle of these tiny insects that are part of the cycle of life. They can cause huge amount of damage to people's homes, especially if they have damp wood from leaking plumbing. But like earthworms, these pilot ants, once they find a suitable nest and lose their wings, can create long tunnels great for water infiltration. This is needed in agriculture. There is an increase in nitrogen in the soil because termites have nitrogen-fixing gut bacteria. These two positives then yield more crop. So, voila! There is an upside to these annoying flying creatures, besides clipping their wings and fryi...

Tomorrow is my father's memorial service. He would have been 69 next week. I want to remember him young. Has it been 33 years since I have known this man, or do the former and latter years not count? The former because I did not yet understand him, and the latter because he no longer understood me. A tumor developed in his brain over a decade ago. At first it was benign, then it became malignant. He had four operations altogether. With each operation he lost something. At first it was his sense of smell, then his sense of balance, and lastly his sense of sight. It was a slow process. It took years. The tumors developed while I was at Varsity, if not before. I was in my twenties then. I am 33 now. We are expecting roughly 50 people tomorrow morning at the Meerhof Chapel. It is good to know that he made an impact on people's lives. It is good to know that people appreciated him. They enjoyed him. They enjoyed his dry sense of humor. They found him courageo...

A life, a literary masterpiece Every year a different genre Every month a funny story Every week a thought-provoking paragraph Every day a well-structured sentence Every hour a fine clause Every minute a precise word Every second a letter of choice Every minute a precise word Every hour a fine clause Every day a well-structured sentence Every week a thought-provoking paragraph Every month a funny story Every year a different genre A life, a literary masterpiece

I was a time-keeper at a school’s gala today. The girl whose time I was keeping was a fast swimmer. What slowed her down was her constant comparing. She kept looking next to her to see how she was faring. She was competing against the others, but checking out her components is what slowed her down. In the end she didn’t win. She asked me her time. I told her. She was disappointed. I said to her, don’t worry about everyone else. Just think about yourself. Then I realized what I had said. In life this is bad advice. You should worry about everyone else and not think about yourself. Or else you are egocentric. However, as I said it, I realized that what counts most in life is to reach the end goal. We do this most successfully by giving our best and not comparing ourselves to our neighbors. This does not make us selfish. We might not even come first in the race, but we will have done it with our utmost effort, the best we could have done it, without looking left or right...

Okay, so Joel Osteen says you should not compare yourself to anyone else because you are uniquely you, which we all essentially know, but being his gifting, he manages to say it in such a convincing way, and takes up 30 minutes doing so, holding your attention the whole while, that I have come to believe this truth even more than I did before. And now to the crux of figuring out what that ONE talent is that he says every person has - just one, not 5 or more, but one very specific talent that God will use to glorify Him. He mentioned David as an example. He could sing and dance and lead, but what ultimately was his gifting, his core of strength, was his skill with a slingshot. Something apparently insignificant. So, what can I say is my big talent, my one talent? I would say spelling. Spelling is my gift. Will God use it? Will it one day bring Him glory? Joel believes to concentrate and work on your strengths. Your weaknesses, if rated 2/10, will only reach a meager 5/10 if...

"A soft tone is the foundation. If you don't have a soft tone, you can't sing," Jarmilla explained. Jarmilla is my new voice trainer. She lives in a big, wide-opened house in Kroondal, with an avenue of trees introducing her house. She leads me into a corner of the open-plan house where stands a grand piano, and she asks me about myself, and tells me about herself. Jarmilla is Czechoslovakian. Her husband and her now consider themselves South Africans because they have lived here over 40 years. And she wouldn't move from Kroondal. She is happy here. And so am I! I think I must have the best of luck to have this marvelous teacher just 10 minutes away from my workplace. She truly is marvelous - we start the lesson despite my 20 minute delay. I never saw the "Rex" sign so I kept driving another 8km when I should have turned right. Got there with 8 minutes to spare, but she still took me on. So grateful! You know when you are doing somethin...

During the day my time consists of articles, adjectives, nouns and verbs, of commas, full stops and inverted commas. I look at, read, write and dictate words, sometimes mere letters, and then the sentence, as though this were the be all and end all of life, theirs as well as mine. Every child learns to read and write, and every child grows up despite mistakes and unfairness and other crazy things that happen in their lives. I'll try my best but feel my best is not good enough, but I get the feeling every teacher feels that way because there is always more you could have done, if only you had the time, if only you had been wiser. Next time, you say, next time I'll do it better, and that next time is just the following day. I am positively challenged every day and thus growing all the more. I am learning so much, yes, from my weaknesses but also from my strengths, and I am finding on the days I try a little harder that I feel a little better and live a little ...

To those who are uncertain... about their standing in this world. I finally got The Message. I get it. It's all about God's path laid out before my very feet. It's all about seeing the light who is God at the end of the tunnel. It's all about the right way and not straying from the narrow road. I finally got The Message. It's not about getting the hint, though many have tried. It's about getting to know the characters of the Bible. It's about knowing your Bible. It's about visions, dreams, prayer and God's will for your life. Did I tell you, I finally got The Message? It's about desiring to know the truth. It's about studying the Word of God and interpreting it. It's about opening up about your life - your past, your present. It's about making decisions. I got it, I finally got it. This message wasn't one that hurt. It's about that emptiness inside you cannot fill with your heart's desire or wit...

I have started a daily chores list, which has been keeping me going for three weeks and counting. If only I'd thought of this before! It entails writing down 5 chores you need to accomplish on a daily basis each week. You tick off once you've done it, and at the end of the week, you get a sticker. Okay, I know what you're thinking - a sticker!? Is that it? It just goes to show we are all just still kids inside. Simple positive motivation, and I promise you, I have never had such happy plants in my life before. Truth be told, I was so determined to water my plants every day that they almost drowned til I noticed it also meant care if you let them soak up the water by themselves until there was none left. I even gave my delicious monster mayonnaise! (Heard it makes their leaves nice 'n shiny, and it's true, they've been shining ever since). It has been so effective that I have made a weekly and a monthly chore list, but as I was busy creating them, ...

I love it when I wake up on a Saturday morning and see there is still lots of time left before I actually need to get up, because that means I can read. I will prop up all my cushions behind me to get into a comfortable position, and then I will continue where I left off last night. Oftentimes I will get up briefly to make myself a nice, hot cup of tea with honey, and then slip back under the covers to revel in the warmth and continue the story. Only once this part of me that has this insatiable hunger to read a book of sorts is stilled, can I get up to attend to my laundry and other life maintenance chores. The accompaniment of music is almost a must. I have come to love the combination of the ESC, finish and command keys on my keyboard because they bring me to my selection of music according to genre, artist or song. I usually choose genre. My mood dictates what genre I want to listen to. If all is well with the world, I will go for the Praise & Worship, but when ...

I was on my way to Korea, to teach English. Three weeks before my plane was to take off, I went out with a friend. When it was close to midnight, we decided to call it a night. Her car was parked a bit further on, so I was driving her to her car. She was directing me, so I was driving slowly. The robot was green for us. I continued driving, but at a slow speed. From my right came a car at full speed and drove over the red robot, crashing into my right-hand side. A young blonde man was in the car. He got out. I thought he would help. Instead he ran away. I saw him running up the street. I had a great pain in my pelvic area and my groin. I knew it was serious. I started praying in the name of Jesus for healing. Sandra was okay. An ambulance was standing outside. But they weren’t coming to us. I screamed for help. I was stuck. The ambulance guy didn’t have a scissors to get my seatbelt off. There was a stranger on the curb who had a knife, so he cut me free. The...

I read today that it is mostly people with knowledge that are impatient, which begs the question, isn't impatience a perfect excuse to be arrogant? However, the wise Balthasar Gracian goes on to say that it is almost our duty as man to simply make do with the folly of men, for it is inevitable, but also - and this was what intrigued me - he claims that having patience leads to peace, and peace to happiness. I admire Paul for his claim that he was content no matter the circumstances, whether rich or poor, sick or healthy, understood or misunderstood, loved or hated, known or unknown. His perspective was greater than his eyeview. I wonder if he just never took things personally. Isn't that oftentimes the great issue of man, and hereby I speak of myself, that my ego is injured, and this injury seeps into my heart. It is bizarre that I have been sad lately. Yes, I have been depressed. God knows it. He knows the thoughts I've been having. And when I have a moment t...

Another worldly wisdom of Balthasar Grecian's - boy, love this man, though he is waaaaaaaaaaay too old for me. Posted: To-day for to-morrow, and even for many days hence. The greatest foresight consists in determining beforehand the time of trouble. For the provident there are no mischances andfor the careful no narrow escapes. We must not put off thought till we are up to the chin in mire. Mature reflection can get over the most formidable difficulty. The pillow is a silent Sibyl, and it is better to sleep on things beforehand than lie awake about them afterwards. Many act first and then think afterwards--that is, they think less of consequences than of excuses: others think neither before nor after. The whole of life should be one course of thought how not to miss the right path. Rumination and foresight enable one to determine the line of life.

So, for whatever reason I felt really drunk this evening, after making smoothies – Tannie Ellen had the frozen fruit and I the ice cream and milk – and had “Dutch courage”, so I convinced myself to take up the courage and sing my newly composed song “Walk away” to her. I asked her permission, and she said, “Ok”. So, there I was, trying to overcome my fear of public singing (speaking is also an issue, but singing comes more easily) and I gave it my best shot. When I was finished, shaken not stirred, nerves still pounding in my flesh, I looked at her for some response, almost sheepishly. She smacked her thin lips together and said, shaking her head, “Weet jy wat, ek moet more skonsies bak.” (You know what, I have to bake scones tomorrow.) Well, I almost fell on the floor laughing. I mean, I was gasping for air, crying, and the more she spoke, the more I laughed. And the more I laughed, the more the seriousness of all my seriousnesses left the building, just gone, vamoos, futchiy...

My principal has a habit of answering every pupil in a manner that ensures they are not ashamed or embarrassed. She answers their questions without ridicule and ensures them of the validity of their question. She satisfies their need for self-assurance and self-confidence, and it is an admirable trait. It spoke to me: protect others against shame when you have the power to embarrass. In light of that sentiment she directed me to a movie entitled "Departures" which is an arty movie that once showed at Cinema Nouveau. The movie is based on the Japanese culture of saving face and honor. It sounds like the kind of movie I would gobble up, in great dignity and composure, of course ;) The other reminder I had today was the memory of myself singing "Ten bottles of beer on the wall" when I was but a wee child. I wondered, were I to hear a young child sing that aloud, would I not feel the urge to ask him to refrain from such songs, as they encourage debauchery, and...

Bought Polyfiller today – making sure I don’t fall through the cracks. I am torn between two churches – the one where I felt spiritually led when I first arrived in Rustenburg, and the other, which is close by and where the message is preached strongly. The former entails the discomfort of facing the once-was and the frills and thrills that came with that, which now I need to cut down to size and proportion, allowing myself the minimalist approach to people lest I incur a similar group identity which fails me in the end. Having a second option is a fine resource, but one which offers convenience and friendship over a peaceful and tender-hearted worship service. My heart prefers the former, while my mind the latter, and yet neither meet in the middle. Thus I, instead of settling in but one place, have found myself sitting in the crack, between the two, and unable to budge. My God has brought me here, that is clear. But who does he want me to fellowship with? Where is He cal...

Sometimes we need to bend over backwards to overcome things. When we go out of our way to help someone, we land up overcoming the issues in our lives, and by so doing, we reach new spiritual heights. God calls us higher. He raises the bar. And he gives us the tools and techniques to get over the bar and reach new heights. Hallelujah!

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen. --Reinhold Niebuhr

I love the way God works - consistently. I made this list of goals for the year, and suddenly the very things on the list are almost floating towards me, so that which I wanted to have by July is already at my doorstep. Ok, so it was something quite arbitrary - a washing machine! - but it was really quite bizarre that the very thing I need was offered to me for a REALLY good price the very next day. Only question is, where to fit the thing? The same lady offered me a microwave - she had a flat in Pretoria which was filled with things, and now she has double of each! I turned that offer down, simply for lack of need and space, but am sure she can bless someone else with it. Anyway, it was really kind and generous of her to offer. The other cool thing was the goal "write a song for a worship band to perform and the congregation to sing and enjoy singing!" - the next day a friend tells me about a lady here in Kroondal who was operatically trained, and she is giving voice ...

God spoke to me today about many things, but of these I share but one: Either way, whether rich or poor, money is about security. When you are rich, you think your security comes from your riches. And when you are poor, you think your poverty takes away the possibility of security. Poverty nullifies security in poor people's lives. It is the one thing they feel they are doomed for - a life of insecurity. They never feel secure in their environment, and in their lives. But still, they make money their marker. Joseph Prince says that God wants us to be rich. It is a lie from the devil, he says, to believe that God's way to humble us is by making us poor. God wants the best for us, and he wants to bless us with material things too, not just spiritual things. It is not much of a concern of mine, but I am trying to get my around this. For I also know God says it is not easy for a rich man to turn his back on money. He says, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye ...

Am I meant to wake up when the cock crows or when the sun reaches the dawn or simply then when the alarm bells ring loudly in my ear or only when I really, really need to, which is pushing each minute to the max, not a minute of sleep less, not a minute more! "How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest - and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man." So says Proverbs 6.10-11. So it is that this morning the cock has crowed and I awake. In anxious dreams I stirred and pondered on what the Lord has shown. He's opened my eyes again and again. The truth sets free, but at first it's harsh. At first it hurts. When the cock crowed the third time, Peter had realised his folly. He understood his weakness. He had come to realise the limit of his love. He had denied Christ, but Christ denied him not. I seek a k...

You came to me like a well-timed wind, if that were at all a possibility, and swept me in tears of relief and joy, how much more can I thank the Lord? With your visit today, so unexpected, you cast away the pain I've been carrying around and the tears I cried were filled with marvelous light, and I trust that you were blessed as was I when we exchanged our hearts. You said I could call at two in the morning if I felt the need, and I said to you, I wouldn't do that, I'm not the type, and you said, still, the invitation's open, and I was glad to know you are a friend. Thank you, Estie, for being there. You pushed away the clouds and showed me once again that there is peace in all things through truth in love and I was further encouraged by the dream I had last night to say I'll be ok, everything will be alright, and I am stepping into my future, I am confident in who I am, and glad to have the Lord to imitate, glad to have someone believe in me, an...

I was watching this ant the other day. He was walking on the edge of a ledge, in a straight line. And as he walked, he walked straight into another ant. And they seemed to kiss and then pass each other. The ant came across another ant, and the same thing happened. They greeted each other quickly and then moved on. Despite the vast amount of space around them, they walked straight into each other as though there were a paved road. I wondered what they were communicating. I wondered what secrets they told each other in that short amount of time - surely they met for only a second. Well, off Anty went, and of course there was an identical third encounter. Now I know ants have their own way of communication, just like bees, and most likely their topic of conversation was food, after all, ants are lifted up for being wise. "Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summe...

In a week it will be one year since my car accident, a defining moment in my life. I am grateful for my life. Moreover, I am reminded to celebrate life. Before celebrating was automatically coupled with drinking vast amounts of alcohol and getting tipsy if not drunk. The association is so strong in my mind that I started to question it. In so doing I realised that celebrating one's life is about filling up your life to its fullest potential. Before I would associate this fulfillment with the freedom to do what you want without consequence. Becoming tipsy was about allowing people to get to know me for who I really am. It was about losing my inhibitions so that the barrier of shyness was broken. But the more I enjoyed my freedom and the experience of opening up, the more I wanted to be in this state of tipsiness. To feel free on the inside, to feel as though you can open up without worrying about what people think of you, and to be fulfilled, is by not filling yourse...

T.D. Jakes - oh what a man! - full of passion and poetry, yet done in the name of God, making clear the concepts which hide so fine behind the words in black and the white space behind. He took off from where I was, and therein lies his genius, and brought me to a place far beyond, in which I was bobbing my head up and down, because all his words rang true and deep, and I wondered how come he had gone so deep and was able to bring me to these roots when many other pastors have not. His message was on faith, and he started out with a focus on the cross, but when he started, he sounded like Martin Luther King, like a true orator with something vital to say, and indeed he swept me away, and he made me realise how very true it is that I am a first-generational Christian, and that the breaking of any negative curses of sickness, or of sins, or of anything repetitive in my family tree, stops here - with the blood of Jesus Christ. And as of the time I gave my life to Him, I was blessed...

This evening I sat in the lounge of a friend of mine's parents. His father is old. He has white hair and he sits quietly in his chair and smiles and laughs, but for reasons beyond me I landed up sharing my entire life story with him, especially my concerns about my father. And I realised then that that was the reason I had gone there, for some peace, for some resolution, for help. The room went peacefully quiet after I had spoken. It was as though they understood why I had come. And they were willing to give me advice. There was only a dim light shining, and then he spoke, with such grace, and he said, "There is a scripture that says, happy is he who has the Son. For if you have the Son, you have life." Yes! How I wished my father would know and understand this wisdom. It wasn't just a belief by a young woman looking for meaning and purpose, it was believed even by this wise and graceful old man. He exuded no bitterness, no anger, just peace and freedom....