What's in a cup?

So this is it, going to a place I have wanted to go for many years - Sodwana Bay, where you can snorkel and see the underworld of fish. I am going camping with couch-surfers and friends alike. The couch surfers are from various countries, and I look forward to meeting them and learning about their culture, their country and their beliefs. Besides Sodwana Bay, we are visiting St. Lucia and various other places along the Elephant Coast. There are 7 of us in all, a great number! According to Malcolm Gladwell, 7 is the best number for a group, so you can get to know each other at just the right level - he calls it the law of 150! But more on that another time. I am putting aside my concerns for school and return to Rustenburg and trusting the Lord that I can fully immerse myself in Him this holiday. Thank you for this opportunity, my God! I won't be online for a week, and I will sorely miss writing online, but I am an old-fashioned girl in some ways and always keep a dia...

Tomorrow I leave for the Elephant Coast. Right now the wind is swirling up the leaves and pushing the trees to and fro, and bringing my thoughts into its whirl. What the world does not see of me is what captures much of me. It is wise to disguise your passions, the sage Balthazar has claimed, and yet my faith is to play a transparent game. Is that right? I write in ink on dotted lines, and hope that the reader will draw the lines, and one day when it all makes sense and I write a postcard to a best friend in San Francisco or Montego Bay, I will smile and wash away all the pains that hide behind the smile I was taught in Grade 9. Smile, they say, fake it til you make it, and all that jazz. It seems the way, the only way, to catch your breath and continue to stay, in the path of light. Because life works also from outside in, not just from inside out. Let me save my musings for another day, for thus far the wind still whirls up my thoughts in disarray, and yet when morning...

In light of my recent emotional state, this message by John W. Ritenbaugh just about saved me from becoming a bitter old hag; now I can just become old: "...a godly sorrow unto repentance can actually give Satan the opportunity to turn a person's feelings about his sin into an abnormal self-pity, which will destroy that despairing person's relationship with the church and with God. He can turn such a person into a bitter cynic. The Devil is that clever. It does not end there. In addition, he can turn the righteous indignation of those who are offended by another's sin into bitter self-righteousness if they do not forgive and forget and move on. He gets people going and coming unless they are aware that he can turn something good into a ploy to destroy a person's relationship with God and the church. These are not the only weapons that Satan has in his arsenal. Remember, we are involved in a war, and a general will employ every kind of ploy, device, tool, or ...

This post was written in response to the articles I read on the BOUNDLESS website, eg. http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001193.cfm I love God! Wow, I want to live like that, God! I want to be so pure that I can just be everyone's sister. I don't want to date anyone ever again. That lifestyle is not for me. I know it might seem radical to some (and to me), but anything in between is not giving me the freedom that I just experienced from this revelation that not only is it possible to have these kind of relationships between man and woman, but it is how we can experience what God wants to give us - trust, hope, faith, love, etc. I know I am super-excited right now about not dating - never thought I'd say that - and already I want to slash the devil with the sword as he approaches, but I just feel God's holy presence rising in my heart and in my being and giving me his armour of righteousness to wear so that I can go into battle. I sense the spirit of Joa...

When I watched Coco Chanel on DVD, I realised that her life was predetermined. No one else could have done what she did. There was only one Coco Chanel. There was only one woman that went through what she had to go through to become a well-respected fashion icon. She didn't do anything except accept her fate and make the best out of what she was given. When I watched Martin Luther King on DVD, I realised that his life was predetermined. No one else could have done what he did. There was only one Martin Luther King. There was only one man who went through what he had to go through to bring freedom to black Americans. He didn't do anything except accept his fate and obey the Lord in doing His will. Our lives are predetermined. No one can replace us. There is only one of you and one of me. And God will put us through what He knows we can bear, though perhaps our neighbor would not. And God will put us through things whilst our neighbor is going through something t...

Dear Lord, You say that in this cup are many blessings. You say that I am blessed in abundance, that my cup is filled til overflowing. I think of the Pharisees that are compared to white-washed tombs because they are clean on the outside but on the inside they are rotten. Their cups are washed only on the outside, but inside they are stained with dirt. It is by grace alone that I have been saved and thus cleansed on the inside. On hard days, I am reminded more of Jesus' cup of suffering, how he asked You to remove this cup from Him, the cup of suffering, but he added, let not my will but your will be done, and so it came that Jesus had to suffer death by crucifixion - oh what a dreadful end, my Father, if it weren't for His glorious resurrection, our hope of eternal life in heaven. Thank you. Most of the time when I think of Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection, I feel so sorry that he had to go through that pain. It is as though I remain there, angry that he h...

Have you ever had one of those days when you realise that once you dreamt of this time in your life? When I was young, I always wanted to be older, just like the kids in my class. I wanted to know I was an adult, and I could make decisions for myself. Now I am just that - an adult. Oh, how the children envy me! I feel as though my dream to be a teacher and lead a simple life has come true, and it is so wonderful to work for this small, private school with supportive colleagues and the most graceful principal on planet earth. There are few children in each class, so I get to know them intimately, and I have come to love and adore them. It is the best grounds for me to learn to be a teacher. And the parents bring fresh fruits and vegetables in crates and flowers for the teachers on a regular basis because most of them work on farms, which is truly a fantastic benefit! I am so excited to have this opportunity to teach German because the best way to learn a language and get to...

In the film Life is beautiful a wise man tells the fool, there is a big difference between serving and being a servant. God serves people, but He is not man's servant. A serving God God the Son served mankind by righting wrongs, feeding the hungry, and healing the sick, lame and blind. God the Son served mankind by trying to convince us that his father in heaven sent him to show us that there is such a place for all of us to enter. Jesus served us whilst on earth with his many miraculous deeds, but this alone did not convince the human race. What people needed to know was that this kingdom was real - that there really was such a place of eternity with a loving God. Jesus served us by becoming a living sacrifice. He served us by obeying his father in heaven until death. He served us by revealing the Father in heaven. He served us by his faith that he would resurrect after three days, or else he might not have gone through with his sacrifice. Once Jesus had done w...

There is so much wisdom expressed so economically by Balthasar Aphorism #65 Elevated Taste. Posted: You can train it like the intellect. Full knowledge whets desire and increases enjoyment. You may know a noble spirit by the elevation of his taste: it must be a great thing that can satisfy a great mind. Big bites for big mouths, lofty things for lofty spirits. Before their judgment the bravest tremble, the most perfect lose confidence. Things of the first importance are few; let appreciation be rare. Taste can be imparted by intercourse: great good luck to associate with the highest taste. But do not affect to be dissatisfied with everything: ’tis the extreme of folly, and more odious if from affectation than if from Quixotry. Some would have God create another world and other ideals to satisfy their fantastic imagination.

There is nothing left. Everything is right.

There is a stillness that speaks a thousand words and one that speaks absolutely none at all. In the stillness of God you can find a thousand messages but between friends stillness bears either peace or war. In the crater of Vredefoort, a crater of 300km in diameter, I came to understand that my depressions can last just as long - 300km long - or I can look up from where I am and see what the asteroid that hit planet earth those millions of years ago created - the mountains that surround me, and I can look at them in awe! And communicate the wonder of it all with my God in heaven and with my friends on earth.

The following poem was written by a class 8 pupil of the German School in Kroondal. It was written during her November exam, and its message was a great encouragement to me personally on the day I read it, so I asked her permission to publish and she gave it freely. Its ending is sad but realistic. I liked it, hope you do too. The translation follows. Der rosa Blüten hat Kurz aber prächtig ist der Baum, Mit einem süßen, kurzen Traum. Rosa, grüne, braune Farben Wollte er schon immer haben. Hat er die Farb’ auch bekommen, So wird sie ihm bald genommen. Von Anke Pape Kroondal, 2010 Translation (without rhyme): That which carries pink flowers Short-lived but glorious is the tree that has a sweet, short dream. Pink, green and brown colors were what he dreamt to have. As soon as he received these, as soon as they were taken from him.

I don't know where this strength is coming from. I keep seeing this picture of a blood-red healthy heart, and it's mine. It is whole. Still my mind is in torment. I keep renouncing the negative and declaring the Lordship of Jesus Christ in my life. I must. I wonder if my mind will ever be completely aligned to Christ's. To connect to someone body, mind, heart and soul is my deepest desire. I remember when I was young feeling beautiful inside, then looking at myself in the mirror and thinking that it didn't really show on the outside, but I thought one day someone will see me, inside, and find me beautiful there. Don't let life change you, T.B. Joshua preached in one of his sermons. The disappointments in life, the unexplained and inexplicable tragedies in one's life and the serial heartaches one endures can make you into someone who remains disappointed, remains confused, and remains hurt and broken. And these pains can become roots of bitterness...

A friend of mine and I are trying to escape. We are in a huge house. There are stairs leading up. We enter a small room. It seems to be an attic of sorts. A place of storage. It is not fancy. Perhaps no one will find us here. I am living in this little room now. It’s not that bad. It’s small, but it has a kitchen, and there is a couch. There is someone already living there. I think it’s an Indian lady. My friend is not around anymore. The girl whose place I was inhabiting told her mother, who was living there as well (the Indian lady), that I had come just at the right time. I was sent. And I thought, if only you knew my story! If only you knew I was trying to escape and that I had nowhere else to go. But she felt blessed that I was there. I remember she had black, shoulder-length hair and a friendly smile. Suddenly I was driving towards a four-story house. I was with family, and we were driving towards our winter home. This house was situated in the woods. ...

What I have done since arriving in Rustenburg! - I was saying to my neighbor today, I have done things this year I have never done before I came here. I was referring to food, mainly. Because Tannie Ellen loves to cook and bake, and she is always sharing her goodies with me, and she is teaching me new things all the time! She is one of the greatest blessings I have received this year. Today we made curry peach chutney. At the weekend I took a spontaneous drive to the Magaliesburg with a friend of mine. We arrived unexpectedly at friends of hers, who own a peach orchard. The gentleman led me through the orchard and said I could pick all the ripe yellow peaches from his trees, and then his wife was kind enough to give me the recipe for a curry peach chutney, delicious with braaivleis, she added. So off we went, having returned to Rusty a whole lot richer - in adventure, food and fun! - and Tannie Ellen went to work - and put me to work - straight away. We peeled the peaches,...

'The name Nicholas [and Nicole] comes from the Greek word nikao and means overcomer or victor. The word nikao is used in two significant places in Scripture related to prophetic warfare. First, in Luke 11:22 , Jesus Himself talked about overcoming the strongman. The second reference is found in Revelation 2 and 3 and is addressed to the churches in the cities concerning their need to overcome. A particularly powerful promise was given in Revelation 2:26 to the church in Thyatira, "And he who overcomes , and keeps My works until the end, to him I will give power over the nations" (italics added).'(Cindy Jacobs' The Voice of God ) Luke 11:14 Now Jesus was driving out a demon that was dumb; and it occurred that when the demon had gone out, the dumb man spoke. And the crowds marveled. 11:15 But some of them said, He drives out demons [because He is in league with and] by Beelzebub, the prince of demons, 11:16 While others, to try {and} test {and} tempt...

I learnt two things today. The first was through Simon Röhrs, a ten-year old boy in Grd 4. He wrote an essay about his favorite hobby, and his favorite hobby is reading. Whilst starting off normally, in the second paragraph he described himself changing into a rat - "die Leseratte" - someone who reads a little is called a rat in German. When I read the piece, I laughed out loud. It was brilliant. But therein lies not the lesson. The lesson lay in the fact that Simon Röhrs was brilliant despite his apparent disorder - his desk is always a mess, papers scatter around him like leaves from an autumn tree, and he looks at me quizzically when I ask for his homework, being the only one in class who didn't know what the homework was. His average is 86% at school. It just goes to show that having order on the outside does not necessarily bring about brilliance in output. I realised I didn't have to have all my ducks in a row. One duck could be going in the opposit...

A haiku on grief: A life now lifeless His broken heart now heartless Colors colorless A haiku is a Japanese poem that aims to capture a moment. It consists of three verses - the first one has 5 syllables, the second 7, and the third 5 again.

I am swimming in a covered swimming pool. I am swimming in the left-most lane. I am wearing my cap, goggles and flippers, and I am on my back, kicking both legs simultaneously. The corners of the swimming pool seem dark. There is a sense of desolation. No one is here except me, a time-keeper and a little boy. The little boy is swimming in the lane next to me. He has short brown hair. He must be about nine years old. He is swimming. He isn't wearing flippers. I can't see if he is wearing a cap and goggles. I am faster than he - a lot faster. My time-keeper is on my shoulder. An angel. I excuse my speed with the fact that I am wearing flippers. As I swim, I think I am not really doing anything. I didn't know what technique I needed to learn to use my hands to swim skilfully. Suddenly I am walking up a flight of stairs. There are only three steps. My friend is with me. I enter a room that has wooden planks beautifully decorating the floor. I recognise N...