Thank you

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Where does the mind wander to when not walking in the light? I ask.
I am asking you instead where your mind wanders to
when you are not walking in the dark?
Are there not forests of lush green and thirsty leaves
and flowers in full bloom just before their sudden death
that you suddenly see and never knew were there?

Have I not shown you the many wonders you missed out before
when your eyes saw not the reality of the beauty of life
because you were so busy wondering what this life is all about.
But indeed you have come to see beyond the realm of this reality.

Oh, I have so much more to show you, child, and I tip my fingers together
in childlike excitement because I know your face will light up
when you see what I have to still show you, and you will be so amazed
that tears will stream down your beautiful face.

Of course I see your frustration and your deep hurts
and I know you don't know where to take them,
though you bring them to me a lot, and yet you hold on somehow
with the little strength you have left, and you show me your pains
and you hold them towards me as though in blame,
pushing them into my chest, as though you want to say, "See!
See what you have done?"
And you have tears in your eyes. I see them, my child, and I know your pain,
because it is mine.

I am sorry, Lord, that I keep pushing my pain into your heart,
and that I blame you somehow, though I think I don't,
but when I look at myself, I see that child that folds its arms,
and I see how silly I am, in my upset state, though it's almost fake,
as though I just want your attention, and you know what that entails.

I should smile more, shouldn't I? I mean, you love me, and made me
as I am, and you want me to mature, to put childish ways behind me,
and to live in the fulfillment You promise, and which You are holding out
for me to grab - let me not grab it and run, but humbly accept the gift
you want to give me, and smile with gratitude. Amen.

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