Hard times

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Am filled with sorrow 
as if my world has drastically changed 
unrecognisable for tomorrow

Been wondering why
and after much pondering on reasons
simply give out a big sigh

So far no words have comforted me
have contemplated if it's the food I eat
or if this is where God needs me to be

Laid my hands on someone at church last night
who burst out in tears and raised her arms up high
and I was relieved because I felt her burdens leave
yet my own remained in me

Sought release from myself, so I gave away what I had
but instead of filling me with joy, I felt nothing at all
In a way it's good, because I know for sure that material goods
mean nothing at all, but the heart's condition is all that counts. 

Been stuck with a frown for over a week, 
wonder if it's the cause of a friend who bad-mouthed me
and I haven't had the strength to fight the tears
or find the words to confront my pain

Every day I am amazed that I can stand and walk and run
if only for a little while
because I know I could've been altogether lame
so I feel like crying every day
partly from joy, partly for the lack of understanding now

I trust the Lord will embrace me once more
and I cannot wait to worship Him every day 
once away on holiday

For now I persevere in His love and truth and way, 
and hope for the best, for I know, 
if I can feel this way with God in my life, 
I can't imagine how much worse people feel 
without Him there - that pillar of strength 
that never lets me down.

May I never forget His love for me reigns.

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