With my parents again

I am living with my parents again.  I moved out when I was nineteen years old.  I am thirty-one now.  "If you live under my roof, you live under my rules," my mother will say when there is something I am reluctant to do at the time of her instruction.  It is not as bad as it sounds.  

I love my parents.  I don't always understand them, but I see their fragility and their broken-heartedness they'd never admit to.  Living with people takes some getting used to, and it is not easy to live with a sense of restriction.  My mother does not like it when I am on the phone.  She never has, and I guess some things don't change.  She worries about the phone bill, although it is not hers to carry.  

My father and I made lunch today.  I really enjoyed making lunch with him.  He took care of the meat (fillet steak), while I made mash potatoes and mushrooms sauteed in butter.  He did not look over my shoulder to check I was doing the right thing.  He just let me do what I thought best.  And we were both quite satisfied with the meal we'd made. It was quite a sight - the two of us wobbling about in the kitchen, he struggling with his balance, I struggling with my pelvis.  

I had hoped (and still do) that God will enter into this house, miraculously, without force, but through His mysterious ways, and in love.  I truly want to have a good relationship with my parents, and this time is a great opportunity for us to grow closer as a family and forgive each other for what we hold against each other.  It is also a great opportunity to see each other as people rather than family members with certain roles to play.  

Constantly I am asking myself what is reasonable, what is right, what is fair, what is good.  I wonder about their expectations of me, and my expectations of them.  I wonder what I need to do, what my responsibilities are while I live at home, and what I should not do, if there is anything at all.  

But most of all, I pray that they will make a choice to follow God's Word, the Bible, and to allow it to grow in their hearts from a small seed to an orchard.  Amen.


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