What's in a cup?

Fellow Christians will say, we need to know our identity in Christ. At first I did not know what to make of this statement. It baffled me. What it means is that we need to come to an understanding of our relationship with God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. I am a child of God. I am the daughter of the Most High. I am an heir to His kingdom. I am a friend of God. I am also here to do His will. For my spiritual growth and maturity, I need to identify with that, rather than the identities I have taken on before, identities which were essentially labels that people placed on me, either to tease me because they liked me, because they disliked me, because they were jealous of me or because they were trying to protect me. To give yourself an identity based on your habits or peers can give a person a sense of belonging, but if the identity is destructive, it becomes a prison. Identity often has to do with family. When someone asks us about our identity, we think of our date of bi...

I have been tasked with the question, Why does God not answer prayer? And I take it that this question came up from someone who has been deeply disappointed, someone who is feeling hurt, despondent, even angry and enraged. To grapple with the question of why God does not always answer our prayers, I have come to ask myself, when does God answer prayers? Scripture tells us, if two or more are gathered together in the name of Jesus, God hears us. God tells us to bring all our burdens and petitions to Him. He reminds us over and over again to pray to Him, to trust in Him, to seek first His kingdom and all the things we seek will be given to us. When it comes to prayer, God has given us an example of a righteous prayer. His main desire seems to be having communion with us, to spend time with us, to have us pray and have His Holy Spirit respond and guide us in our daily walk. God reminds us that He tests the heart, that what is most important to Him is our motives. He judges the heart...

I admire those personalities that are friendly and take you into your confidence. I admire those personalities that have a sharp sense of humour and can make everyone laugh. I admire those personalities that are intelligent, who can tell interesting stories and who are sure of what they know. And I also admire the humble, the ones that work hard and do not seek the glory. I admire those who are passionate about what they do. I admire those that work quietly but with great results. I admire those who are generous and hospitable, and I admire those who are down-to-earth and happy within themselves. I admire the good-looking, the slim, the talented, I admire the ones that know how to give a good speech, a good sermon, those who manage to grab your intention and intrigue you with their words. I admire the kind-hearted, the witty, those who can laugh at themselves and find humour in everyday life. I admire the philosophical amongst us, those who can find meaning in everything, and the...

One of the greatest holds on us is the need for approval. We act in certain ways to get people's approval. One of the hardest lessons I am going through right now as a manager and therefore a boss is not to seek the approval of my staff nor of my colleagues or my superiors. As long as I work with integrity, I ought to find satisfaction in my work and not fear what others say. Integrity is doing what is right. Sometimes there is no clear right or wrong, and yet you can still anger someone. You can inadvertently step on someone's toes or offend someone, and under stress perhaps not have been the most polite. I believe an apology is never too late, as long as it is sincere. I believe in being the bigger person, to apologise first, even if you feel you were wronged as well. What the apology should be about, however, is not to seek approval but to genuinely reconnect and ease any tension that may have arisen out of a situation. There is nothing wrong with being well-mannered a...

And just as I was feeling empty, I am reminded that I am filled with the Holy Spirit. I was going through my old diaries yesterday night after not being tired from reading my current book, 1421, and wanted to remind myself of where I have come from and what I have been through, to perhaps lessen the pinch of my self-confessed mid-life crisis, presuming I make it to eighty. This feeling of emptiness overwhelms me at times. It is a feeling of disappointment in myself, in who I have become, in my accomplishments so far, and I judge myself as not good enough. It is a destructive thought pattern that I know is bad for my thought life and its subsequent manifestations in my life, and a thought process which I actively need to suppress or redirect. Emptiness is actually a desired state in many religions, and even as a Christian it is good to be empty of self in order to focus on God and to make space for the Holy Spirit. After quoting the poem by Lao Tzu yesterday, I realised this morning...

Thirty spokes will converge In the hub of a wheel; But the use of the cart Will depend on the part Of the hub that is void. With a wall all around A clay bowl is moulded; But the use of the bowl Will depend on the part Of the bowl that is void. Cut out windows and doors In the house as you build; But the use of the house Will depend on the space In the walls that is void. So advantage is had From whatever is there; But usefulness rises From whatever is not. - Poem 11 from 'The Way of Life" by Lao Tzu

We live in the 21st century when populism trumps democracy and radicalist terrorists take their lives in order to take others. We live in the 21st century, when the world became a global village,  and societies swayed from left to right politically but were taught to act liberally. The 21st century lacks no surprises when we consider sexuality, beauty, technology. We have it all, the rich say, whilst the poor: we have nothing at all.  We live in the 21st century,  when the futuristic films start becoming reality and we live on pills and rely heavily on technology and celebrate ambidexterity and gender fluidity.

As the old lady finished telling me her sad story, I realised that her story evoked in me the feeling of pity, and in that moment I reflected upon my own storytelling of hardship and heartache, and concluded that from now on I needed to evoke not pity, but its antidote in the form of shared insight and thus evoke feelings of relief, empathy, and respect. Listening to someone who concludes negatively can be taxing. When we listen to someone, we often listen for the conclusion. We wait unwittingly for the punchline or the moral of the story. If the speaker ends his or her story with a great sigh, we feel disappointed that the story did not have a happy ending. We expect a conclusion, a lesson, or a laugh. After all, the listener will be seeking out consciously or subconsciously something that will inspire or motivate him or her, something new that he or she can add to her repertoire of facts or life lessons.  We do not want to listen to someone moan or complain, unl...

I guess I have not had the life of many naughty forties because I am not married with children, so I do not relate to the many millions of women out there that share their stories about love, engagement, wedding, childbearing, childrearing and in some cases, divorce. I am at peace with that, when I think back on my life and realise that I made the best choices I could at the time. So I have filled my mind, my heart and my soul with different things, or perhaps the same as other women, but simply left out the many thoughts and feelings that they have experienced due to their matrimonial commitments. I still feel like 25 sometimes, as though I just finished studying, just finished going through the wildest parties of my life, and I am just about to embark on my journey of life, to climb the corporate ladder, although this has never been my ambition, and find the love of my life. What happened at 26 was that I decided to follow Jesus Christ, and even though I was far from a saint after...