Recommitment

In 2003 my heart started beating for God. I fell in love with His Word and His Way, and in 2004 I was baptised. Our union has been much like a marriage. Initially I was madly in love, but then the thorns and thistles of this world left me with feelings of resentment, bitterness and anger. Even though I knew to go to God and speak to Him and all would be forgiven and resolved, I did not know how to communicate with Him. I still love God very much, and I never want to leave nor forsake Him. I want our relationship to improve, to get better, to take us beyond human love. I know God to be omniscient and omnipotent. He is everywhere at the same time, all-knowing, all-powerful. So I remind myself, as a feeling of loneliness, resentment and jealousy rises in me, because I yearn for His attention. I feel like I am competing for His attention, that His relationship to His other children is better than the relationship He has with me. I know it is a silly thought, but it also spurns me ...