What's in a cup?

“When people ask for time, it’s always for time to say no. Yes has one more letter in it, but it doesn’t take half as long to say.” (The Children pub. 1928) Edith Wharton Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. Joseph Campbell I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive. Joseph Campbell Love is a friendship set to music. Joseph Campbell

God placed her in a cup it seemed that the road was mapped out for her the choices were few and suddenly she was swimming in a current and she feared the worst she was swimming with the flow for lack of choice and freedom escaped her she thought there was only this way because she was here now and this is all she could see and then she remembered the wise young man she once did meet who said to her are you the fish that swims with the stream or are you the one that turns around and lets the other fish follow you? he had inspired her and she had loved him but still she turned from him as though she did not want to take love when it presented itself to her and instead she showed him defiance and he teased her with Oscar Wylde's Woman of No Importance at her very own stall it matters not, not now anyway instead she returns to this blissful day when she realises the challenge that stands and she knows some days you have to stand for something and other ...

Today someone asked me, what is the most outrageous thing I have done this year? I can't think of a single thing that I chose to do that was outrageous as far as one's general perception of outrageous is concerned. Right now I am kneeling on my carpet to write this blog because the cable doesn't reach all the way to my bed, and that seems outrageous! After all, I could be usual and plug it in at my desk, but who wants to work at a desk when you are on holiday? So, carpet it is! My friend from school just let me in on a message he sent me many years ago on a Valentine's card. And its interpretation was intriguing: what we had in common was that we loved the deep things of life, and that we wait for answers. Well, I think I have failed in the department of waiting many times, where I guessed rather than waited. I dived rather than checked the water's depth. I swam where I could stand, and I fell where I needed to fly. So be it. Life is a journey, they s...

We all have ideas of the ideal. The truth may be very far removed from our ideal. But the truth is more important than our ideal. The truth is the truth. It is an objective thing. It is not subject to interpretation. The truth sets people free. (John 8.32)

I am sitting cross-legged on a queen-sized bed in my parents' house in Broederstroom. A large mosquito net is pitched over me. My throat is itching from either pollen or dust. I am ready to go to bed. Today, being my first holiday, I slept til nine, ate fried eggs on toast for breakfast, and made my way here, where I was given presents from Germany - necklaces and clothes - and watched a slide-show of the new house my parents bought in Germany. I was excited for them. It is beautiful. The environment is wonderful, and the house is truly cute. There is a beautiful church nearby. You have to cross a bridge to get there. There is a lake where you can ferry across. You can cycle for hours. A part of me was jealous. I wanted to live there. I wanted to live in a cute little house with beautiful, natural and lush surroundings. I wonder. I wonder about my future. Just because I feel like I have to decide. And a part of me is afraid of letting a place choose my life ...

To Daniel, Man oh man, I know how you feel, but it will be gone, it will be gone. I can't say much more to you now, only I hope you do what we asked of you. I know it's hard. I know you might just "forget" and move along, But I know you want to move on, from where you are now, and where you don't want to be. I am sorry, man, but I know my sorries won't take away your pain. There is nothing I can do, or you, for that matter, that is just the plain truth. I wonder what you'll be thinking about tomorrow, if the words we spoke will reach you after a night of drinking and smoking and other possible things which know no end. I am not saying this with a head that rocks from side to side, "tsking", but rather I expect it, for I was much the same. I couldn't see through the cloud, and I didn't want to live without it, without the veil that made me feel protected from truth which can be so painful. I want to let you know that the ...

Josh Wilson wrote one of those A three-minute song to say how precious time is to say how we have little left but I can't go on his note and sing his song cause I've gotta write my own gotta pave the way as a pioneer with a machete through the wild parks of gorilla country Ok, admittedly that would not make a great song. But all I've got is gone. (3 minutes)

I have writer's block. I will have to enter it as such. There is nothing like someone telling you you should be writing to make you not able to write. Suddenly a pressure mounts as though there is a great expectation from your words. What can they possibly achieve? How can they get around the thoughts in your head to the point you need to make? Oh, expression! Wherefore art though good for?

There was an injured bird at my entrance this evening. It gawked. It could not fly. Its leg or wing was injured. It was so close to me that I could see its colors. I wondered what to do. I thought of the kids at school. They rescue fallen birds and put them in boxes and take care of them. I should do the same, I thought. I got a box from my neighbor, and then I approached the bird. It was weird that I was afraid to rescue the bird. I don't know why I was afraid. It couldn't very well harm me. Even if its beak were sharp, it wouldn't really harm me much. And yet when it moved, I got a fright. And in the next moment it fluttered its wings and flew away, and I knew I had lost it forever. It had gotten such an adrenalin rush that it was able to fly despite its pain. My heart went out to it, as I thought of its future. Either it would die alone, or be eaten by a cat or dog, or other unspeakable things. Death was and is inevitable. What was the right thing to do...

I thought falling in love would be easier. I thought you'd meet someone who you found cute and attractive, and then you got chatting, and you'd laugh and have so much to say that you just never wanted the evening to end. But then it does, and it's okay, because you are excited for another day. What else could you discover, what areas could you explore, where in your hearts, minds and souls would you wander into and find the treasures you trust are there? It must be a miracle, I think sometimes, to find someone whose company you enjoy, who is easy to get along with, whom you can trust and talk to about all kinds of things, and also someone you like as a person, find attractive, believe in, are fascinated by, find interesting, can learn something from, and still have fun with and someone who makes you laugh. I come home sometimes, and then, in insignificant moments, I think on it, about young couples, or recent couples, and how it seemed easy for them, natural almost, a...

It is true that I miss friends in conversation. I miss their opinions and ideas, and their reactions in conversations I have. It is as though they are still with me somehow, in spirit, and I think of them, guessing what they would say, or how they'd react. With some friends I did not always agree. I did not always see eye to eye even though they believed essentially the same as I. Yet, as a person of common interest and similar passions, I appreciate them. I love them. And I enjoy them as part of my life, even when they are not here with me. I love all different kinds of people, not because I choose this, but it has become evident that the further away someone seems to me, the more interested I am to get to know them. If they seem to come from a place I have never been to, I want to read their minds, like a book, and live for a short moment in their shoes. And then there are those friends whom I have come to love, as though God sent them to me, to both be a blessing and t...

Tonight was experienced the Himalayas through the telling of Malcolm Pearse, photographer and mountaineer of summits that include Kilimanjaro, Mount Kenya, Machu Picchu (the Inca Trail), The Karakoram (K2 base camp), the Galapagos Islands, China, Tibet and the Himalayas. At my first church, Church of Christ, a young man came up to me and introduced himself. "I'm Jan," he said and took my hand. "I'm Nicole," I replied. "Nepal?" he asked, and I laughed. And since then he always greeted me with "Nepal" and I liked it. In Nepal, Malcolm explained, they love to dance after they have eaten. And then he showed us pictures of a group of St.Stithian pupils including their headmaster, Mr Wylde. It was a strange meeting of worlds. Lucy Wylde's father in a picture in a small room in a village in the middle of the Himalayan mountains, Nepal. (Lucy Wylde was at University with me - a brilliant actress and wonderful woman). When the littl...

The Pity of Love By William Butler Yeats A PITY beyond all telling Is hid in the heart of love: The folk who are buying and selling, The clouds on their journey above, The cold, wet winds ever blowing, And the shadowy hazel grove Where mouse-grey waters are flowing Threaten the head that I love By Janice M Pickett – a poem about the former poem Love is a moment in time its future unseen its pleasure for the present Love grows only when the soil like a bed of roses is tended and kept fertilised continually with a gentle hand Who knows if love new will become love old The future changes rapidly Each day brings something unexpected Love is an unknown commodity The future of love is indeed beyond telling Love is something to encompass Enjoyed and explored for the moment It cannot be planned nor tamed It explodes from nowhere lashing out its claws and grabbing you when least expected But it can let go just as fast Slapping you in the face with a vicious blow Love is Love It is you it...

I am in physical pain. Pity doesn't work. Neither does self-pity. There are things I can do in the hope that I will one day be okay. The hydrotherapist agreed to aqua-aerobics. I continue going. What comfort is there for people in physical pain? When in pain, it takes more effort to smile, be friendly and patient. Your focus is not as readily available as it was before the pain began. I am asking what one can do to overcome physical pain? What are God-given painkillers? Medicinal painkillers I choose not to take. I believe they cause greater internal damage than is worth. They do not solve the problem. They numb the pain. They do not change the situation. They do not amend the situation. They don't help. I remember the cold table I lay on in hospital. I laughed from the pain. I thought it ridiculous. I knew that if I couldn't handle it, I would pass out. The fact that I was conscious meant that this pain was bearable. After two or three hours after my...

Been thinking about it today. And most days. But haven't put it into words. Now I will attempt to. Might not be easy. What I wanna write about is judging others. I speak from the point of view of being a Christian, and thus belonging to the Body of Christ. Being part of the Body of Christ was not something I earned. I am not a "good" person and therefore passed the test into God's kingdom. Quite the opposite happened, actually. One of the most profound teachings I ever received was during a home cell meeting I was invited to in 2003, when I had seen God as My Saviour and desired to know His way. At this particular meeting the scripture came up that spoke of being a vessel that is broken rather than crushed. Gareth had asked us what we would rather be - crushed or broken. Most people answered they would rather be broken, but I shook my head and thought, I'd rather be crushed. In my mind it was better to be either one or the other - either dead or alive...

The Goal 6 September 2010 There is no point of running from church to church. Instead we should be running with the churches towards Christ from whom we came and to whom we aim to return. No church is perfect, and we all agree. We can find fault with our own church, and talk about how much better it could be. We may go so far as to fantasize about leaving and finding the church that meets all our needs. Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life, says the following about being realistic in your expectations of the church, “Longing for the ideal while criticizing the real is evidence of immaturity. On the other hand, settling for the real without striving for the ideal is complacency. Maturity is living with the tension.” As a part of the kingdom of God, and until the day Jesus’ return, nothing on this earth will meet the ideal. An ideal is an image of perfection, and God is that image. Only in His presence does imperfection disappear. We are made in His image and...

Wanna share with you something I have been reading about lately. Mother Teresa reminded that we are mere tools in the hands of God. We are put on earth to be filled with His Holy Spirit and then do His works with this Spirit. That's all. When we speak His Word, we have done our part, if that is what the Spirit has instructed us to do at that particular moment in time. Obedience is key. We have to guard ourselves against then expecting something in return. This is not a pure motive, but selfishness. We are not to then stand in judgment of the hearer's reaction toward the Word. We need to trust that the Word has been planted if the person was open to receive, and if the person was not, to pray that God will use another person in another situation at another time to open that person's heart to receive His Word. (Also, Mother Teresa never asks people why they have AIDS, or leprosy, etc, but deals with their immediate need without judgement. I love that! ...